Влад Южаков

Зелье для Ланцелота

Открывай калитку, ведьма.
Я измотан. Я устал
Поднимать под клич победный
Окровавленный металл.

Навари покрепче зелья,
Да побольше навари,
Чтобы тёмное веселье
Продолжалось до зари,

Чтобы думать про потери
Не хотела голова,
Чтобы я сумел поверить,
Что рука моя права

В час, когда на части рубит
Обречённые тела,
Что не зря сзывают трубы
На жестокие дела.

Что с клинком острее жала
У меня героя роль,
Что мудра моя держава
И безгрешен мой король.

Дай мне зелья, чтоб не снились
Патетические сны
Про победы справедливость
И величие войны.

Дай в тяжёлый бред зарыться,
Чтоб не слышать лязг и плач.
Дай мне веру в то, что рыцарь —
Не мясник и не палач.

Впрочем, лучше дай мне волю
Просто бросить щит с мечом.
И с утра проснуться в поле.
И не помнить ни о чём.


Выбирая жизнь

Пожалей паука. Жизнь паучья и так нелегка:
Некрасивый. Ест мух.
Вот не дрогнет рука и не станет с тобой паука —
Обратиться к кому?

Может быть, так случится — чело осенивши крестом,
Если станет невмочь,
Ты раздавишь его. И придёт в твой заброшенный дом
Одинокая ночь.

И никто не украсит уютным ковром паутин
Сиротливый карниз.
И никто свысока на страховке к тебе не слетит,
Как плохой альпинист.

Может быть, так случится когда-то потом. А пока —
Ни страданий, ни мук.
Нынче двое глядят в необъятную даль потолка —
Ты и верный паук.

Не убий паука! Пусть не с жертв начинается день!
Посмотри на жилье,
Убедись, что возиться с уборкой по-прежнему лень
И забей на неё.


***

Бутылка портвейна разбилась о камень,
И сладкую влагу впитал чернозем.
Скажи, что мне делать с твоими руками?
Скажи, где другую бутылку возьмем?

Прости мне, что речи горячи и пылки,
Прости обороты с началом на «ё».
Ведь ты же не просто разбила бутылку –
С бутылкой ты сердце разбила мое.

Летят самолеты, плывут пароходы,
Привычной дорогой идут поезда.
И будут еще за портвейном походы,
Но счастья не будет уже никогда.

Пускай ореол романтизма развеян,
Пускай нам уже не поют соловьи,
Но я не забуду бутылку портвейна,
Весну и дырявые руки твои.


Очередь

Крыша высотного здания.
Ветра тоскливое пение…
Время окончить страдания —
Нет уже больше терпения.

Не умоляйте, пожалуйста.
Неоценённый, непонятый,
С миром прощаюсь безжалостным.
И перед гибелью подняты

Над зазывающей пропастью
Руки с ладонями потными…
Гулко вращаются лопасти
Над головой вертолётные…

Поздно, циничные сволочи,
В рупор кричать про спасение!
Без человеческой помощи,
В серости и невезении

Прожиты годы безлицые,
Пройдены вёрсты бездарные…
Не приближайся, полиция!
Не подползайте, пожарные!

Кончена жизнь подневольная —
Жалость и страх уничтожены!
Вдруг за спиной недовольное:
«Прыгайте, юноша, что же вы?!

Хватит задерживать очередь!»
Глядь, а на крыше тусуются
Родины скучные дочери —
Тётки с тяжелыми сумками.

Спорят, ругаются бешено,
Тычут воинственно пальцами:
«Вас не стояло здесь, женщина!»,
«Я отходила за яйцами!».

Сплетни, подсчёты наличности,
Реплики ненормативные…
Вместо мучения личности —
Снова фуфло коллективное!

Обескуражен и бледен я,
Щиплю в тревоге бородку я:
В фарс превращает трагедию
Гнусная очередь с тётками!

Сплюнув, подумал обиженно:
«Вряд ли когда-то захочешь впредь
С жизнью покончить возвышенно,
Если так требует очередь!».

И о поступке жалею сам:
Нет антидота от общества.
Единолично не клеится,
Единогласно не хочется…

Кепку надвинул, ссутулился
И в настроении сумрачном —
В лифт. И дворами на улицу
Прочь. В направлении рюмочной.


У тебя получится

У тебя получится. Соберись.
Это тяжкий труд — подниматься ввысь.
Побеждает вера любую жуть.
Ты сильнее всех. Я тобой горжусь.

У тебя получится, не тужи.
Если в подворотне блестят ножи,
Если хода нет, за спиной стена,
Пробивала стены твоя спина.

У тебя получится. Не канючь.
Даже если вдруг потерялся ключ,
Даже если насмерть заел замок —
Под рукой был гвоздь. Ты же раньше мог

Не такие в жизни дела творить.
У тебя получится. Не ори,
Что пропала Родина. Нет, страна
Поднялась с колен, всех послала на.

Даже если я, алкоголик, шут,
Не теряю веры в себя, ищу
В зассанном подъезде небесный свет,
То тебе сам бог велел знать ответ

На любой поставленный нам вопрос.
Ты до высших знаний давно дорос.
У тебя получится! На, герой,
Каберне без штопора мне открой.

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