Анна Тащенко

Анна Тащенко


Кораблик

Собирай, сердечко, ярицу,
да опять не про запас —
урожай не передарится,
не разделится для нас…
Сколько ж можно лбом о грабли-то,
будто сотни этих лбов?..
Неприкаянным корабликом
незатейливо любовь
из несложенного сложится —
не до алых парусов,
лишь бы вскользь по водной кожице
поскорее унесло
мимо добрых щук Емелевых,
мимо рыбок золотых…
Всё сближается со временем,
но далёк навечно ты.


Сентябрь

Осень фантиками шуршит,
разворачивая деревья —
наблюдает, что от души
четвертуют лопатой ревень,
что под крышей осин-трусин
в золотой бабье-летний праздник
партизанщина паутин
накрывается медным тазом,
что приятны пеаны пчёл
для последних из медоносных…
Так, пока не поддаст плечом:
«Слышишь, ты не зажралась, осень?»
обтуманенный в хлам ноябрь —
и посыпется снег поп-корном,
и голодной, как дикий бабр,
не заботясь о стройных формах,
всадит зубы ночь в серый день,
и ворвётся зима менадой
в нетемнеющем серебре
под истошное «нет, не надо!»
хвойных женственных недотрог…
Но пока на шуршащих вёрстах —
листья-фантики, пышный мох
и сентябрьское прожектёрство…


Первовесенние сомнения

…Заявилось тепло поиграть прежней силой на улицах,
и дрожит, ожидая расправы, ледовая знать.

У лучей — интерес: почки влюбятся или не влюбятся,
а у почек — вопрос: доверять или не доверять?..

На кого делать ставку? Пока что природа колеблется
и с прохладцей следит за окраской полотен земли.

Вот и я не пойму: то ли к звёздам достраивать лестницы,
то ли тихо осесть и деревья на даче белить…


***

И у зим порой —
кризис женских лет,
о которых-то вслух и не дать ответ:
макияж — долой,
покороче ночь,
вдоль дорог — в изобилии мутный скотч…

Снеговой парик,
ледяной платок —
всё не так, всё безвкусица, всё не то:
вот весны берилл,
или лета пещь,
или осени бархатность — это вещь!

Вот и вид — что прах,
и земле без стуж —
прикрываться клочками травы и луж…
Вот и нам в домах
на «плюс пять» пенять,
и, как женскую логику, не понять…


Новый год и старая любовь

Праздник въезжает по огонькам гирлянд,
скачет по веткам, прыгает в окна смех,
лечат каналы в преддверии от помех…
В общий переполох внесена и я.

Ёлка-несушка… Полно золотых яиц —
к ним очень хочется выпустить всех мышей,
что, затаившись, теснятся в моей душе
и выгрызают любовь из её страниц…

Шепчет шампанское: «Пепел скорей неси!» —
знало желание множество городов…
Репкой из памяти тянут за годом год
то, для чего не хватает сердечных сил…

Последвенадцатье…
Тот же скупой абзац
пишет тоска отупевшим карандашом…

Ну заходи, Новый Год, раз уже пришёл,
что у тебя есть хорошего мне сказать?..


апатия

всё в боях, современные «гордые римляне»,
а в моём колизее наметилась трещина —
не шагается в ногу по жизненным линиям
и рука оскудевшая

разошлись кто куда все деяния добрые
и хлебами, и рыбой — не ныне, не присными,
как круги по воде… позади всё разобрано,
впереди — всё написано

кто-то станет известным и злым укротителем,
кто-то — тигром, а кто-то — куском растерзанным…
люди, люди… эх, делайте, что хотите, и
что хотите, то делайте

хоть откройте шкафы и делитесь секретами,
хоть пишите отказы от статуса «ближний мой» —
мне не то чтоб совсем глубоко фиолетово,
но оттенок насыщенный


Островом в океан

Когда заливают злословие в уши
и звук словно поезд гудящий летит,
когда безысходно волнения душат,
от тяжести грузов сгибает в пути,
когда от усталости зрение скудно
и мир окружающий обнял туман,
как хочется островом тихим безлюдным,
уснув, приютиться в большой океан…


Городская геометрия

В день холодный, дождливый и ветреный,
собираюсь под капель конвой…
Я на вид городской геометрии
посмотрю, как на вечный покой
линий жёстких, в покое прямеющих —
мне бы так пару дней отдохнуть!
Им не нужно ни хлеба, ни зрелища…
Как прекрасна их ровная суть!

Ровный строй этажей респектабельных,
ровный транспорта громкий аллюр —
я один лишь какой-то неправильный
и среди непреклонных фигур
побреду асимметрией гордою…
Слишком близко берущий к душе
я для этого людного города
и его незаметных ушей…

Вот бы стать мне таким же бесчувственным,
непокладистым, твёрдым, прямым,
чтобы с правильным видом искусственным
пережить наступления зим,
пережить все свои осложнения,
а они тут как тут каждый год…
Испытал бы второе рождение —
не желал бы уже ничего…


Лебедица

…Ни подуматься, ни присниться
не могло это мне, родной…

Я пыталась стать лебедицей,
чтоб прожить много лет с тобой,
и замучила ворожею,
чтоб узнала: возможно? нет?…

Изгибала изящно шею,
перья красила в белый цвет…
Стать хотела намного лучше,
налетала сто тысяч миль
и наплавала, чтоб не мучил
равнодушием мой кумир…
Долго-долго пришлось стремиться
к совершенно иной судьбе,
чтоб живой и красивой птицей
выплыть и помахать тебе
белоснежным крылом — новейшим!
Но ты быстро его рассёк…

И влюбилась я так поспешно,
и поспешно меняла всё…
Каждый взгляд отдаёт мне болью,
мысли — горечью, и гудят…

Оказалось, ты любишь только
гадких и заводных утят…


Я знаю, что тебе снится…

Эти глаза
видят больше, чем я могу спрятать —
тайна проста,
и всегда пишет красным на лицах…
Встречу — молчишь,
но лукаво светящимся взглядом
мне говоришь:
«Я знаю,
что тебе снится»…

Сны — хоть куда,
но пора воплощать их в реальность —
хитрость проста,
и всегда пахнет липовым мёдом…
Я обернусь,
чтобы взглядами мы попрощались,
и улыбнусь —
я знаю,
что не заснёт он…

…Видели в снах
и клубнику, и яблоко с розой —
сущность проста,
и всегда совпадает по смыслу…
Сонник, прощай —
всё понятно, уже нет вопросов,
и, спать ложась,
мы знаем,
что нам приснится…

Каждый свой шаг
сделал из сновидения в вечность —
вечность сложна,
и любовь не всегда только в спальне…
Спим и не спим,
переводим бордовые свечи…
Ты ощутил? —
мы стали
в сто раз реальней…


Лжегрей

…Сонный крикливый берег:
ящики, сети, шлюпки,
рыба, торговли, ссоры,
море в сыром бреду,
город в рубашке серой…
Вышли работать шлюхи,
вышли смотреть Ассоли —
все они Греев ждут.

Ищет Ассоль мечту, и
даже не сразу алой —
пусть приплывает белой,
главное — капитан:
если он будет чутким,
ласковым и бывалым,
сможет и переделать —
в сказке случилось так.

Шлюха не только прибыль
ищет, а план лелеет —
выкупить телом чувства,
что возвеличил Грин,
и за стеной колыбы
тискать чужого Грея —
будет Ассоли пусто,
будет в постели принц.

Если Лжегрей причалит —
будет обеим кисло…
Ступит такой на землю —
тут же и ром, и дом:
и утопить печали,
и ни единой крысы…
Хочешь — «кадри» кисейных,
хочешь — иди в притон.

Красный отрез шикарный
с юности лжеромантик
спрятал в карман небрежно —
скажет, что кораблю
будет такой же парус,
этот приём «прокатит»
и для Ассолей нежных,
и для портовых шлюх.

Мысли о лучшей жизни
вмиг открывают доступ —
в доме, в лесу, у моря
женский экстаз души,
«звёздность» мужской харизмы,
ночи любви… а после —
видимость перекроя,
вечность на перешив.


***

Вечер улицам раздал
апельсинки-фонари…
Вышла первая звезда,
час волшебницы-зари
быстро множит их число…
С затуманенной луной
ищет небосвод-циклоп
под серебряным руном
Одиссеев-горожан,
не смотрящих вверх людей…
Кто-то, булочку кроша,
в парке кормит голубей…
Кто-то покоряет лёд —
налетает, чуть смеясь…
Кто-то в дом родной идёт…
Кто-то — в доме ждёт меня
с тёплым чаем на столе…
А пока я до дверей
доберусь — согреет свет
апельсинок-фонарей…


Сумрачное

Ветрено… На ледяной бумаге
вечер рисует карандашом —
то мелкоточечно, то с размахом…
Сыплется белым зерном размятым
снег в городской мешок.

Чувствуют корм вороные тени —
тянется каждая мягким ртом…
Сумрак карабкается по стенам,
свет зажигает, по окнам делит —
сердится старый дом.

Не согревая, остаток силы
пьёт электрический кровоток…
Вечер считает, что некрасивым
вышел рисунок, и стал плаксивым —
думаю не о том.

Всхлипнули где-то вблизи колёса…
Ветер тихонечко засопел…
Ночь насекает на небо звёзды…
Я, наблюдая, горю и мёрзну —
мне бы сейчас к тебе.

Ход к телевизору… Там — реклама
на раздражающих n минут…
Ящики почты собрали спама
столько же, сколько в квартире хлама —
некуда и впихнуть.

Выгляну — ряд фонарей высоких,
очень похожих на эскимо,
тает свечением над дорогой…
Мне бы хватало вещей немногих,
если бы ты
был

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